The Zen Hussies are very excited, indeed bursting at the seams with pride, to announce that they have been selected to represent France in 2016 at the Eurovision Song Contest.
Their nimble fingered Gallic guitarist Sebski Velo secured this honour with his self penned ballad ‘je suis la clare et l’ombre‘ beating off competition from a plethora of also rans with his telecaster and a cheque for €3000 made payable to Mr T.Wogan esq.
Lead singer Jonah Delaquaff Flatfoot has already started preparing for the big day by dropping his ‘H’s and doing twenty minutes a night of revision via his Tricolore GCSE French textbook. He is also rumoured to be learning the nuances of autotune.
Count Sebski is believed to have composed the song in the new Metrical European Standard Scale (MESS) - which has a ten note series of intervals as opposed to the ‘imperialist’ twelve note chromatic scale familiar to music lovers for the last thousand years.
‘The MESS method of making music is going to completely rewrite the rulebook and elevate artists and composers everywhere from the same old tedious twelve keys we are all so bored of…’ said Sebski whilst watching the Six Nations communal bath via his webcam, ‘we have had to sharpen some notes and flatten others to metricficate the scale, and completely redesign our instruments, but in the end, less is more and at last music is being brought into line with the rest of the modern world and stuff like money, distances, weights and measures’ said the prominent guitarist whilst eating a baguette.
Les Zen Hussies will be debuting their melodic message of hope for all humanity this weekend at shows in Bristol and Glastonbury – click the ‘gigs’ button above to find out how you, dear listener, can be part of their revolution!
Love, light and dix points to you all and in the meantime here’s a picture of the band busking at the World Cup Finals in Brazil last year…